How to Flourish in Sober Personal Growth

Stack of little present boxes

“If we focus on what we’re here to give versus what we’re going to get, there’s a subtle shift that’s so powerful.” Marie Forleo-life coach

My favorite magazine is Experience LIfe, a no-gimmicks, no-hype health

globe and gift box
What are you giving to the world?

and fitness magazine. You should check it out, if you haven’t already. It is published by LifeTime Fitness. (I’m not an affiliate-just think it is the best magazine out there.)

Last night I pulled out the archives, a January 2015 issue with Marie Forleo on the cover. I know of Ms Forleo because Amy Porterfield, my on-line course creation and list-building instructor, speaks often of her, as Amy was a student of Marie’s.

Anyway, I went directly for Marie’s interview.

And was filled with hope and inspiration after reading. 

I want to share with you Ms Forleo’s wisdom.

A few quotes from Marie:

“Confidence is overrated, every accomplished person I’ve every met feels fear, insecurity, and self-doubt.”

“If we focus on what we’re here to give versus what we’re going to get, there’s a subtle shift that’s so powerful.”

This goes along with another one of my favorite authors and business experts, Zig Zigglar who has a similar point-of-view

“You can have everything you want in life, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

I will be 40 years old this October.

Last year around my birthday, I launched Project 39-my personal development year of “get-your-@#$%-together”.

I’ve kind of always had my $!@# together.

The responsible one – the student every teacher loved. But in the responsible act I put on to the outside world, I struggled daily with my mental health.

I began the endless self-help road at about 15 years old, when I began trying to figure life out.

That consisted of bad choices such as boy-friends who were drug-addicts who ended up in prison, and experimenting with drugs and alcohol.

During a therapy session in my twenties, after a break-up from a 6 month relationship left me suicidal and on anti-depressants , I told the therapist I was tired of always having to work on myself.

That I just wanted to be happy the way I was.

She told me, or asked me, (because that’s usually what therapy sessions consist of is the therapist asking you questions in an attempt to pull personal epiphanies from you)

“But Isn’t that whatlife is about?

Constantly growing?

Changing for the better?”

I didn’t like her answer.

This December will mark 6 years without a sip of alcohol. My last drink ended with me ‘napping’ on the couch with my 3 month old foster baby in her bouncy chair crying and crying, and my 10 year old step daughter telling me she would take care of her for me.

That was a pivotal point in my life; the day I realized this was not about me anymore. I literally signed up to be a parent, and I failed that day. (I now have 3 children, in addition to my step-daughters. 2 adopted, one biological.)

Giving up the alcohol vice was a vital move for all areas of my life. But, what emerged was decades of bad habits that I previously excused with alcohol.

I thought that when I stopped drinking, I would magically become “the person I always wanted to be.”

Instead, I was the same person, just sober and forced to work on my bad habits, because now there was no excuse.

So, here I am, months away from my 40th year on earth, still growing and learning and working to get my $%^& together.

My Point:

No matter what ‘project of life’ you are taking on, you should look to help others before worrying so much about ourselves. 

On the other hand, we certainly can’t give our best to this world if we don’t take optimal care of ourselves.

And the care we give ourselves is usually a reflection of the level of care we give to others.

Think about that when you start to feel burned out or overwhelmed. It’s not about us as the instructor. It’s about our clients and their needs.

And to fill their needs, we must take really good care of ourselves. 

What are you doing for personal growth?

I would love to hear your story!

Please comment below with your journey of personal growth as a Pilates instructor.

What are you doing in the personal growth department?

Happy Hundreds,

Alison Marsh

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